Oh my… It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I’d been dreaming of being published in PAP Korea for three long years. Why did it take so long? The answer now seems obvious: I lacked confidence in myself and didn’t take the time to sit down and think things through logically.
The dream first appeared after my work was rejected for the very first time. Then, it was rejected a second time—because my shoot didn’t align with the magazine’s policy on the number of looks and variety of clothing brands. Two more shoots didn’t make the cut either, deemed «not a fit for the concept.»
At that point, I felt completely powerless. Depression hit, along with life’s many ups and downs—some of which could only be described as heartbreak. I forgot all about my dream. But then… my second group of students at school.abamodels.com/moscow came along.
This group holds a special place in my heart. They listened to online lectures, asked questions, and completed their assignments. I could see my guidance and experience taking shape in their work. It felt amazing, like watching a flower bloom after you’ve carefully tended to it. Truly, such a rewarding feeling.
I watched these talented students come up with ideas, assemble teams, get published in magazines, and land on covers. And I felt inspired.
As my birthday approached, I drew inspiration from a colleague and decided to create a massive art project—a birthday shoot with my students—and finally aim for PAP Korea. Yes, everything, everywhere, all at once.
For a while, I hesitated, wondering if I could handle such a large-scale project alone, without a budget and with minimal time for prep. I was terrified of failing—and, of course, I did fail…in a few moments. But not entirely.
And in the end, what do we have? Success. You just need to take the leap and believe in your ability to handle big things. Don’t give in to fear, or you’ll stay stuck for far too long.
This turned out to be the best birthday I’ve had in years. Afterward, I spent countless hours developing the concept, creating the mood board, coordinating all the processes. On the day of the shoot, I ran and jumped around for five hours straight. Then came the photo selection, three rounds of edits, and even some 3D thrown into the mix.
Oh, how much fun I had. How many lessons I learned, how many emotions I experienced—all because of one simple «Screw it, let’s do it!»
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Becoming an art director and producer
